intimacy/\interiors | death & spritzers, Vol. 2
in which 'if you hold back, nothing interesting happens'
Welcome back to death & spritzers!
In this month’s edition, I’m sharing a collage series I made last fall, which I originally shared on Instagram as a reel.
Different format, same sentiment.
Have you read Intimacy by Hanif Kureishi? That book fucked me all the way up when I read it, and it’s the inspiration behind all this.
When I was revisiting Intimacy and working on this collage last fall, I was completely oblivious that Kureishi had lost the use of his limbs due to catastrophic spinal injuries from a fall in 2022. He’s featured in the Winter 2024 edition of The Paris Review, and last Sunday I also read his interview with The New York Times, in which he says blogging helped him survive. (He’s big here on Substack. Check him out.)
I had big plans to make February all about Frank O’Hara, but here we are and I can’t stop thinking about Hanif Kureishi, so without further ado, here is a collage essay that I share now in tribute to his writing, to intimacy — and to surviving.
All excerpts below are from Intimacy, by Hanif Kureishi.
intimacy /\ interiors
“Without love, most of life remains concealed. Nothing is as fascinating as love, unfortunately.
I know love is dark work; you have to get your hands dirty. If you hold back, nothing interesting happens. At the same time, you have to find the right distance between people. Too close, and they overwhelm you; too far and they abandon you. How to hold them in the right relation?”
“‘I’ve never understood all this fuss you straights make about infidelity,’ he’d say. ‘It’s only fucking.’
‘Fucking means something,’ I’d reply. But what? I’d add, ‘Surely, for there to be beauty there must be mystery too.’
‘When there are other people there is always mystery,’ was his answer.”
“It wasn’t her wit or beauty that fascinated me. There was never great passion — perhaps that was the point. But there was enjoyment. Mostly I liked her humdrum dexterity and ability to cope. She wasn’t helpless before the world, as I felt myself to be. She was straightforward and firm; she knew how to get things done.”
“How disturbing it is that our illusions are often our most important beliefs.”
“What is wrong with maturity? Think about the conversations I could have — about literature and bitterness — with a forty-year old!
…
I know a place where I could meet some middle-aged women, if they are up so late! Once I level out they will be grateful for my company! They are a larger cause!
I will seek some out!”
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